Key words in the vocabulary of kindness

Kindness is a posture, of the mind that opens toward others, of the body that with its movements indicates respect and attention, and above all of language, starting with the key words in its dictionary. Seen in this way, kindness is the easiest attitude in the world to transform into a habit, a lifestyle, that challenges the mood of its own. of the moment, oriented more towards indifference, and sometimes violence.

Like all respected languages, kindness also has its own dictionary, in which every word, even those we hear most frequently, takes on a specific meaning, a sense.

They are twin words, associated with gratitude and reciprocity, respectively. They are never overused, and they represent the cornerstone of the lexicon of kindness. Saying: thanks Let's acknowledge what others have done for us, without weighing it with a pharmacist's scale. A single word sums up many forms of gratitude. Prego Instead, it incorporates the idea of ​​reciprocity, signaling, like an electronic sensor, that kindness is always contagious (the same is true, unfortunately, for its opposite). If you get used to saying the word frequently thanks, you will receive the reward of the same continuity You are welcome.

When combined, these two words allow every relationship, even temporary ones, to have roots, and warm relationships, removing them from the coldness of mere formalities.

How difficult it is to get these five letters out of our lips! narcissism The push, the lack of doubt, the slavery of those who become prisoners of their own knowledge and transform it into certainties, as if they were natural and irreversible laws: these are all elements that distance us from the idea of ​​acknowledging a mistake, of taking responsibility (sometimes our error harms the other), of feeling embarrassed by the discomfort we have caused and the misunderstandings we have unleashed.

Apologizing is also a proof of humility, of empathy, of a gaze that extends from comfort zone from our navel to the quicksand of worries that make others fragile (we all are) and more exposed, therefore, to the effects of our mistakes.

The expression It's a variant of the dry word "sorry," and it softens our regret, also adding an emotional component. Displeasure becomes sharing, and this certainly strengthens the acknowledgement of the mistake.

Another word from the dictionary of politeness, removed and violated. Notice this: if someone on the street asks you for information, or wants to know something, it's unlikely you'll precede the request with a simple Please. Almost as if our availability were a gesture of obligation, and not a demonstration of courtesy. Google Maps, and technology in general, has made things even worse: accustomed, as we are now, to asking for everything from the machine (the smartphone, the computer, the PC), we have lost the ability to address others in a simple, but polite way.

It may seem trivial, but when we precede a request, or even a question, with the expression please, We recognize the other's ability to respond to us or not, and we do not impose anything with our pride.

There are many variations of expressions that include a kind wish. Good day It has a particular, more complete value, and is like a seed, which leaves a pleasant trace of our meeting. In an attitude inspired by courtesy, nothing is taken for granted and good day it's something more than just a Hello (a dominant expression in the coldness and generality of Internet language). Pronouncing the expression is certainly good day It is one of simpler ways to be kind even in the moment of separation.

Much more than a handshake or a pat on the shoulder, it creates a connection with the other. It signals non-generic attention, but in person, calibrated to suit our interlocutor and pronounced with the right amount of warmth. In fact, the only risk of frequent use of the expression How are you? It's about getting used to saying it coldly, with your eyes downcast and without an accompanying smile. Then you've just wasted an opportunity to be kind.