Why we have become more alone

An epidemic that isn't the long-lasting effect of coronavirus isolation. But it comes from afar, from when we resigned ourselves to the Big Lie of technology. And the answer can't be a Ministry of Loneliness, as exists in several countries.

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Why we have become more alone

Where does the epidemic of loneliness originate? How have we slipped ever further, step by step, into that gray area where human relationships wither, the hypertrophic ego devours the lightness of the "we," and interpersonal relationships are reduced to a constant quid pro quo? The landslide is so marked and confirmed by a series of growing indicators, from the boom in the use of psychotropic drugs to the decline in the time we spend with others, that it's becoming difficult to pinpoint the virus's origins. Many studies point to the long Covid-19 season, the wounds it has opened that have never healed, and the new habits we've acquired driven by the survival instinct: from smart working, working from home, without physical contact with colleagues, to giving up on seeking new friendships, as if this chapter should begin and end with the relationships of our school years.

The pandemic has certainly made things worse, but the rise of loneliness as a mass disease, more chronic than diabetes, obesity, and cardiovascular disease, stems from much further back and leads us straight to the Big Lie of technology . Machine progress, faster and more uncontrolled than ever before, beyond our control and discernment, has led us to believe that any object of desire called modernity could bring us closer, open us to others, fostering all forms of connection. In reality, the opposite has happened. Pervasive technology has taken over our lives, convincing us that we are atoms in a universe made of particles, one distant from the other, and has reduced the very idea of ​​community to an archaeological relic. Our horizon has become solely the present , our gaze has narrowed, the desire to be with others is no longer the rule, but the exception.

The loneliness epidemic, linked to the proliferation of social media, is even being measured in Italy by ISTAT (the Italian National Institute of Statistics). Between 2012 and 2018, when social media became the alpha and omega of our lives, and therefore before the coronavirus epidemic, loneliness increased by 73 percent in Italy (compared to a doubling in the United States). Between 2019 and 2021, also before the epidemic, young people between the ages of 14 and 18 saw their time spent with friends decrease by 15 percent, 17,2 percent reported having no close friendships at all, and only 6,5 percent considered themselves satisfied with their relationships with friends. Meanwhile, the time spent on social media among the same age group of 14-18 year-olds skyrocketed to 6-8 hours a day. An eternity, compared to the rest of their lives.

America, a paradise of high-tech and finance, is also the kingdom of loneliness, which begins in youth and lasts a lifetime. Over 500 adolescents were surveyed by a group of Harvard researchers, after they responded three times a day about their social interactions, real-world and virtual relationships, and their lifestyle. The final result of the survey was very depressing: in the 60 minutes prior to completing the questionnaire, 52 percent of the young people said they hadn't spoken to anyone, including via smartphone, and only 9 percent said they had had any contact with a real, non-virtual, interlocutor.

In the United States, as in the United Kingdom and Japan, initiatives are multiplying, including those by governments, to get to the bottom of the causes of the loneliness epidemic and attempt to implement effective countermeasures. Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease, bordering on the comical. Already in 2021, US President Joe Biden created an "Office for Loneliness and Wellbeing." Will we soon have help desks, like those for sending registered letters, making new friends, or seeking companionship? Japan also has a Ministry of Loneliness, and it's no joke. Meanwhile, Japanese companies are proliferating in the service sector offering rentals of friends, as if they were cars for short trips with friends. In Great Britain, the Ministry for Loneliness dates back to 2018 (so much for the Covid-19 effect!), and meanwhile, postmen have been tasked with keeping an eye on elderly people living alone along their routes. To invite them to dinner?

Many apparent public efforts to combat the loneliness epidemic can be explained by a very prosaic issue: the fear that this contagion will continue to put pressure on national healthcare budgets. A body of literature now exists on the health risks caused by loneliness: type 2 diabetes, obesity , depression , increased cardiovascular disease, reduced cognitive function, risk of dementia and stroke. A list of problems that, in one way or another, then impact healthcare spending, making it unsustainable.

Loneliness shortens life, and we should all have understood this, no matter where we are in the world. And it will take a great deal of imagination, combined with a healthy dose of reason, to begin to think about what is truly needed: an individual and collective effort to find ourselves together, to avoid suffocating in the narcissism that deprives us of the oxygen of the most authentic human relationships. To restore the primacy of the individual over technology, in that eternal tug-of-war between man (with his frailties) and the machine (with its progressive power) in which we have undoubtedly lost yet another battle. But we can still win the war.

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