To the question "Why do we need a sense of proportion?" there's a simple and straightforward answer: because it helps us avoid the extremes and exaggerations that poison coexistence, at all levels, and make life more difficult. On a personal level, a sense of proportion helps us avoid being overwhelmed by emotions or desires. Without some internal balance, we risk oscillating between excesses: enthusiasm that turns into impulsiveness, fear that turns into paralysis, desire that turns into addiction. Moderation doesn't dampen emotions, but makes them manageable.
On a practical level, it allows us to make more effective decisions. Almost everything in life works better in doses: work and rest, risk and caution, speaking and listening. When moderation is lacking, even good things become counterproductive (for example, working too hard or being too cautious).
On a social level, it's what makes coexistence possible. A sense of proportion is linked to the idea of not invading all the space, of recognizing limits, of respecting those of others. Without this balance, conflict, extreme competition, or injustice prevail. In philosophy, this idea, now rather out of fashion, is ancient: for the Greeks, "measure" was already a form of wisdom, because it avoided hybris, that is, arrogance, the idea of being able to go beyond any limit without consequences.
When we hear about a sense of proportion, we imagine something static, a sort of safety belt to wear while navigating the stormy seas of life. Yet, a sense of proportion is a compass, whose cardinal points are always shifting, helping us seek a point of balance, which can never be the same in all situations, but shifts, even rapidly, whenever circumstances require it. What seemed impossible yesterday is within our reach today: why not try? But what seemed easy yesterday has become complex today: why not stop for a moment and take note?
Reality never ceases to surprise, shattering the alchemy of unfounded expectations and creating new, sometimes unexpected ones. And the speed of change sometimes eludes us because of its power: the virtue of a sense of proportion helps us stay on track, not to derail, even if the path is different from what we had imagined not long ago.
In times of exaggerated living, of
narcissism endemic, of impulses that triumph over feelings, of the eternal present, it's easy to lose our sense of proportion: we do, or try to do, everything and more, and we always ask, even of ourselves, for more. Only to then find ourselves forced to keep track of our disappointments.
The most concise and synthetic definition of the virtù the size is certainly due to Orazio, who carved the phrase «Est modus in rebus»There is a measure in things, in all things. Hence the Russian doll effect: the man with a sense of proportion manages not to lose balance, common sense, composure, or fairness. He knows how to be prudent without slipping into the category of cowardice. And his calculations are not the fruit of cynicism, but of reasonableness.
Horace's saying became very popular and was continually cited in ancient Rome. It also indicated a sense of limitation, which the Romans considered insurmountable, a boundary beyond which there could be no justice and one risked the delusion of omnipotence (hybris), considered in antiquity perhaps the worst of mortal sins. The moderation indicated by the saying
est modus in rebus, instead, leads straight to a sense of proportion. Horace, let us remember, also spoke of
golden mean, which was certainly not an invitation to a dull and mediocre life, but a call to temperance, to
sobriety and to moderation. That is, to a sense of proportion.
Moderation, as it belongs to the category of sobriety, is elegance. Those who continually raise their voices, setting an example, believing this to be the right way to assert their arguments, are first and foremost committing a contagious act of rudeness. And it is a sense of moderation that pushes us toward the threshold of kindness, an eternal key to accessing good human relationships. To ignore the sense of moderation in criticizing, even if one is right, automatically means passing over to the wrong side. And to close the door to any form of dialogue, leaving the debris of an irreconcilable conflict on the battlefield. Moderation, on the other hand, thanks also to the style that accompanies it, makes it easier to resolve a dispute. Almost all condominium brawls could be avoided if the majority of condominium members were able to consistently express a reasonable sense of moderation in addressing the problems of daily coexistence.
In this aesthetic dimension, moderation intersects with ethics. And it transforms into a wise balance that pushes us not to waste our energy. And, in any case, to express it in the right way. Those who lack a sense of moderation are usually strong with the weak, and weak with the strong. Our path must be in the opposite direction. The strong who exaggerate are openly challenged by the strong. For the weak, an added value of tolerance is needed and, if one has the gift of faith, of
mercyIt's too easy to take it out on those who have few means of defense, and much violence arises precisely from the removal of a sense of proportion. We see it every day on the streets, in
rancor of those who travel, by any means, and are ready to attack with the honk of the horn or with a classic insult just because they come into contact with an uncertain motorist, or a pedestrian.
Moderation is realism. Healthy realism. Let's not squander expectations, emotions, and ambitions by going beyond what we can reasonably achieve. Do we want to protect the intrinsic value of a friendship? Are we truly interested in its longevity rather than the wear and tear of time? So let's exercise our sense of proportion and not ask our friend to change their personality to please us. Let's accept them for their qualities, rather than criticize them for their flaws. And let's extend this attitude to those closest to them as well. Close friends and relatives maintain a sense of proportion, even if they've chosen people as life partners who don't have our total admiration. Let's accept it. And let's look forward.
Measure is method, in the Cartesian sense. To reach a solution, with a balanced search for a point where everyone's reasons are considered, not the arrogance of one individual. To approach a problem, calmly examining it in all its facets. To avoid becoming overly emotionally involved in moments of rising tension.
Realism, inherent in a lifestyle inspired by a sense of proportion, has nothing to do with opportunism. They are two very different approaches, to life and to others. In the first case, the awareness that hope must always be measured against reality, with how things really are, prevails. A beautiful and lofty definition of politics considers it "the art of the possible." A mediation that is not a disheartening compromise, but rather a search, through the exercise of a sense of proportion, for a shared point of balance.
In the case of opportunism, however, a sense of proportion is concealed in a constant calculation of our moves. If I do something X, what advantages Y will I gain from it? This is the question that governs the entire existence of an opportunist, always ready to change alliances to achieve his goals. Until he finds someone better than him, and then he will have to surrender to the human law of the strongest.
Famous quotes about a sense of proportion
<La measure of love is love without love>
Sant'Agostino
There's only one area in which we must be boundless, to the point of letting ourselves go without limits: love. With this feeling, we can feel free to go beyond the bounds of moderation and, indeed, we risk skinning our knee. To love is synonymous with intensity, free from sense di measure that life, rationally, requires.
<Il segreto per vivere a lungo è: mangiare la metà, camminare il doppio, ridere il triplo e amare senza measure>
Chinese proverb
In the extraordinary synthesis of this ancient Chinese proverb, you will find many of the contents that form the basis of the Vivi lieve philosophy. They are simple lifestyles, inspired precisely by the sense of measure, from food to physical activity and remembering the therapeutic value of laughter, already known to the Chinese. And for them too, as for Christian doctrine, the sense of measure It disappears only in the face of love.
<Ciascuno di noi ogni tanto è cretino, imbecille, stupido o matto. Diciamo che la persona normale è quella che mescola in measure reasonable all these components>
Umberto Eco
Only a hardened narcissist, someone full of himself and unable to look up from his own navel, can deny the weaknesses summarized by Umberto Eco. We all, sooner or later, and on more than one occasion, fall into these weaknesses. sense of measure then it becomes a lifeboat: we lose our minds, we become stupid, but it is the sense of measure that brings us back to reality. Pulling us out of the shallows of life suspended in our prejudices or our beliefs without sense.
Confucius
Confucius also saw in the sense of measure A compass. To avoid getting lost. Life often leads us into a labyrinth, where every room is made of mirrors that reflect excesses, almost inviting us to exaggerate. Those who don't do so don't consider themselves normal. And yet, being devoid of... sense of measure It means having an almost mathematical certainty of going off the road. With all the risks that entails.
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