Why we don't talk about politics at the table

There are rules of etiquette that need to be explained, so as not to waste or underestimate them. For example, why don't we talk about politics at the table? It's not inherently wrong , nor is it a sign of bad manners: we all have political opinions, so why not express them freely when dining with family and friends?

The answer lies in the fact that not discussing politics at the table, a prohibition that shouldn't be considered absolute or inescapable, is a rule of good manners and pleasant coexistence. At the table, let's remember, we gather not only to eat happily, but also to converse, and to lighten our lives with the combined pleasure of good company and food.

Conversations about politics, however, easily become personal and divisive. Rather than dialogue, they foster conflict, and can easily devolve into a "dialogue of the deaf" or a series of pointless and long-winded interventions, with each person feeling like they're the bearer of some absolute truth. In practice, etiquette in this case suggests a preventative approach: avoid a topic of conversation that could definitely escalate into an argument, potentially spoiling the meal and the company.

Besides politics, there are three other topics in table etiquette that should be avoided: money, religion, and sex and one's intimate life. 

We don't talk about money because it can put those who have less at risk, and there's also a tendency to make this topic "vulgar." How? For example, by flaunting recent purchases: houses, boats, cars. Money doesn't displease anyone, but it requires discretion in how it's stored and spent. 

Religion is not discussed, for the same reason politics is avoided: it is another highly personal and divisive topic, both among believers of different denominations and between believers and agnostics. 

We don't talk about sex or intimate life, because the pleasure of eating doesn't preclude the duty of discretion . The details of one's sex life belong to the protected perimeter of privacy; they're not information to be shared with just anyone, especially since they could embarrass those you're talking to. Keep in mind that children are often present at the table alongside adults.

Finally, avoid talking about illnesses and health problems: you risk being simply boring. 

Read also:

• Conversation: Why is it so important?
• Why family lunch is important
• How to avoid unnecessary arguments