The Dark Evil of Distrust

Distrust is a dark evil, it gnaws and corrodes inside, it distances us from others, and slowly, like a slow-release poison, pushes us toward the fog of loneliness. Thus, mistrust becomes a waste of time, energy, relationships, and a part of ourselves that withers. This attitude, which combines fear and distrust, skepticism and prejudice, also extinguishes the light in our bodies, and manifests itself, in a form of somatization, in a sad, melancholic look, the scar of a defeat. Each of us has enough precedents in life to write a diary of betrayals, disappointments, regrets, which lead directly to transforming mistrust into a lifelong companion. A shadow. But each of us, if we rewind the film with a more open mind, also has many memories of people who have demonstrated, perhaps unexpectedly, extraordinary qualities and feelings. Men and women we viewed with great caution and who surprised us with their value.

Yet the poison of mistrust is spreading with ever-increasing intensity. Istat has long been reporting that 78 percent of Italians feel the need to "be very careful with others, rather than trusting them," and a recent survey by the University of Urbino Carlo Bo effectively confirms these numbers, finding that 71 percent of those interviewed bitterly confessed that "others, if the opportunity arose, would take advantage of my good faith."

Why are we becoming more and more distrustful? Where does this widespread and contagious crisis of trust, In the private and public spheres? There are many possible answers, and the era of liquidity certainly incorporates, among its compasses, mistrust and suspicion, generally coupled with fear, uncertainty, and anger. Social media and all the tools of virtual connections nip community fires in the bud (which arise precisely on the basis of trust agreements between people, in their diversity) and become a vent for their own frustrations, steeped in mistrust. The deluge of information, including false information, completes the picture, and it becomes difficult for everyone to know who deserves trust.

The cage of mistrust, rather than protecting, isolates and weighs down life, where all of us, in such dark times, need to lightnessIn the public sphere, distrustful political leaders are those who create the "magic circle," a select few who reassure, obey, serve, and hold the leader hostage, almost preventing him from looking beyond, from imagining a future that transcends the present and the sum of daily emergencies. In the private sphere, distrust is a toxin that saps passion, the uncertainty that fuels the most authentic feelings, the heartbeats of doubt. And relationships become the sum of statements ("Why did you do that?" "How come you decided to behave this way?"), so many fuses ready to ignite the fire of conflict.

To give you a more complete idea of this trend, which is highly unsustainable compared to the lifestyles we desire, we'll tell you about the "bench effect." That is, the results of a study conducted by Web Opinion Analytics, which, in examining our attitudes towards socializing, compiled statistics on men and benches. What happens when we're sitting on a bench and a person comes and sits next to us, or on the bench next to us (all common occurrences, for example, in a garden or a public park): this is the purpose of the analysis. Well, let's just say that in this (non) contact, mistrust reigns supreme. Over 40 percent of those surveyed said they were interested in having contact, simply through words, with the person sitting next to us on the same bench. But then, when it comes down to it, 8 out of 10 people who find themselves in this situation do nothing but ignore, avoid, and push away.and the other. Not seeing him. And they prefer to socialize exclusively through social media. Between the possibility of having a relationship via chat or getting to know each other physically by sitting on a bench and approaching the other, they always choose the former. Never the latter, which involves physical contact, not virtual contact.

Since we're surrounded by distrustful people, let's try to take some countermeasures against them, especially if we want to preserve the quality of our human relationships. Let's not challenge them, let's not provoke them, let's not push them into feeling cornered. And let's give them space and trust. This means, for example, not engaging in overly divisive discussions, which can easily degenerate into confrontation, and sticking to general topics, even at the cost of forgoing some useful insights. Let's not insist on our arguments, but remain authentic, loyal, and transparent. These are always the best tools for relating to complex people, and they pay off in the long run. Let's be courteous and kind, but without overdoing it, otherwise the game becomes exposed and the distrustful person will tend to withdraw into a shell. Likewise, it's best to avoid excessive, ostentatious compliments. Even trustworthy people arouse suspicion.

Let us leave it to the psychologist's profession to delve into such a closed attitude, and let us acknowledge that in isolation, fuelled by mistrust and also by the rampant human communication via the Internet, we end up wasting loves, passions, interests. Curiosity. It's too much not to react, especially since those most affected by our mistrust may be the very women and men to whom, for various reasons, we are most attached. And let's remember what the great Totò said: "Mistrust saddens."

To react to the sometimes natural shock of mistrust, there are many avenues you can explore, many small solutions, even those based on banal common sense. But they are valuable and effective. For example, dissolving the most poisonous part of mistrust (the sum of fears, suspicions, and anxieties) in the sweet liquid of irony, lightheartedness, and contagious laughter. Defuse this dark state of mind, just as it presses on. Secondly, the more we deepen a relationship, get closer to the other, understand their edges and corners, the less likely we are to slip into the gray area of mistrust. Opening your mind, in this case, can parallel an opening of your heart. Finally, never forget the discomfort that comes from mistrust. It's harmful to your health, as well as a loss of positive feelings and emotions. So, if you care about your well-being, instead of yet another diet, think about how to properly digest a stomach ache towards someone else. Process a behavior that doesn't convince you, without giving it too much importance. Once you've digested it, look forward with more confidence and more smiles. In a short time, you will have become less suspicious and happier.

Famous quotes about mistrust

Our distrust justifies the deception of others (Francois de la Rochefoucauld)

The law of physics—for every action there is an equal and opposite response—once again applies very well to human behavior. Our mistrust is easily perceived by those around us. They sense it in the tone of our language, our gestures, even in our body language. And how do we defend ourselves from mistrust? One solution, as perverse as the very effects sown by mistrust, is to enclose ourselves in the armor of deception, protecting ourselves with recurring lies and dissimulation. Emptying life of its authenticity.

The approval of others is a stimulus that should be avoided. (Paule Cezanne)

This is one of the rare cases in which mistrust has its justification. Even a sensible one. You know those people who so easily shower us with compliments and praise, telling us "How good you were..." even in the face of an obvious setback? There you go: they're opportunists, not very clever. sincere, from which it's best to distance yourself. And not trust them.

Be wary of a philosopher who knows he knows (Norberto Bobbio)

With a trademark, this sentence contains all the disenchanted wisdom of a philosopher towards his category. Knowledge is never absolutist, it must always leave some margin for doubt, to the possibility that thought can produce something new. Otherwise, without this uncertainty, we would still be convinced that everything revolves around the Earth.

The dark evil of mistrust

Famous quotes about mistrust

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