Loneliness is a nasty beast. It bites you suddenly, when you least expect it, and then tries to follow you like a shadow, because it's accustomed to never letting go of its prey. Its ambushes are fueled by a series of loopholes we've now left open: the compulsive and addictive use of social media, the fatigue and lack of desire to cultivate human relationships that aren't virtual, the
presenteeism like a watch on the wrist of modernity, the natural curve of life that selects according to imponderable criteria, apart from the numbers on an identity card.
Loneliness can even make us ill, and a vast scientific literature lists the potential risks to our health: depression, increased cardiovascular disease, obesity, and worsening cognitive function. But let's turn the tables and start, considering loneliness a poison that worsens the quality of life, with a famous phrase, dear to such brilliant minds as Sun Tzu (The Art of War) and Niccolò Machiavelli (The Prince): "If you cannot defeat your enemy, ally yourself with him." A good idea for dealing with loneliness without resorting to pseudo-therapies that are almost always very ineffective. But how do we ally ourselves with loneliness? There are no manuals or expert advice for the answer here, just the healthy realism of everyday life.
Before considering loneliness, total isolation, loss of energy, constant withdrawal, or long-lasting suffering, it may be worth seeking and deepening our own company, seeking the solidity of our inner life, which we so often erase from our agenda and discard from our toolbox. Pay attention and observe with a searching eye: those who have a minimum familiarity with themselves tend to have freer relationships. They listen better, force less, tolerate silence, and don't experience every distance as rejection. In fact, they ally themselves with solitude. The philosopher and writer Jean Paul Sartre had the following: clear ideas about it, and said: “If you're sad when you're alone, you're probably in bad company.” And ready to be torn apart by loneliness.
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