Co-sleeping: All the Benefits and When to Stop

Many families often ask this question: is it right to sleep with babies, when they're very young, in their parents' bed? The answer is that there are no contraindications; on the contrary, it's true. Let's not squander the maternal instinct that wants to see the mother next to her baby at night: breastfeeding, cuddling, and physical contact are physiological needs. And recent educational studies support co-sleeping. is not judged a “vice” of the newborn but a necessity in the mother-child relationship.

Index of topics

What

The point is another: How long is this habit healthy and positive? Children should sleep in mom and dad's bed until the age of three. This is what Dr. Nils bergman, pediatrician at theUniversity of Cape Town in South Africa, which in its study claims that sleeping in the mother's bed provides newborns a better rest than what would happen in the cradle, because the heart of the newborn in the cradle is under stress compared to when he sleeps next to the mother. Furthermore, sleeping alone, always according to Dr. Bergman makes the bond between mother and child difficult.

Until

The topic of a newborn's sleep is a delicate and controversial one. There are so many theories about how to get babies to sleep that a manual wouldn't be enough to list them all.American Academy of Pediatrics suggests using co-sleeping, with its benefits, no later than one year of the child's life, while in Italy pediatricians generally tolerate it up to, and absolutely not further, the three years.

It is essentially made up of two words: Sleep sleep and co together. There are various theories about this, ranging from sleeping in the same bed with mom and dad to sleeping in the same bed with brothers and sisters.

Benefits

Basically, in the first weeks of the newborn's life, mother and baby sleep in the same room because of thenursing Nocturnal. Most mothers who are attentive to their child's needs respond consistently, coherently, and sensitively to their child's requests for closeness and reassurance. Thus over time the child calms down And he ends up knowing that his mother, even if she's not there, is ready to come when needed. The unheard newborn will gradually stop crying and calling, realizing that crying isn't enough to make his mother appear.

Paradoxically, the more the child is given the opportunity to be close to the mother when he needs it, the more capable he will be, later on, of being alone. The more his desire for dependence is met when he is small, the more easily he will become independent later on.
Systematically neglecting the child's requests for closeness or responding to them inconsistently slows down or hinders this process of forming "inner security".

Therefore it can be concluded that every mother knows that the small child can ask to be close at night especially when he is smaller, when he is scared, when he is sick, when he is anxious for any reason and that providing a "cosleeping on demand" as is done with thenursing It's probably the most correct strategy.

How to do it

Co-sleeping it should be done in the most natural way possibleUltimately, it's simply a cohabitation between two people who are getting to know each other through physical contact. With co-sleeping, the baby relaxes, feels more protected and reassured by the mother, and easily overcomes the delicate period that begins after the first eight months of life. At that moment, in fact, the child recognizes the difference between familiar faces and strangers, develops his own identity, and may, during this process, experience anxiety. separation from the motherCosleeping protects against this risk. The main advantage for the mother, aside from the pleasure of being in constant contact with her child, is managing her baby's requests more easily and in real time, thanks to cosleeping.

When to sleep alone

But once they grow up, children must have their autonomyEven in bed and at night. It's impossible to see them still comfortably tucked under the covers, between their mother and father, at seven or eight years old. You risk developing a series of bad habits that become difficult to change over time. there are several negative effects.

First of all, with three children and a little boy in bed, you don't sleep well. He kicks, talks in his sleep, and moves around a lot: all behaviors that irreparably disrupt the parents' sleep. Then, at this age, a child must understand what the spaces of intimacy are, his own and his parents'. The bed belongs to Mom and Dad, so maybe he can crawl into it on a Sunday morning or a holiday. But these should be special cases, not the norm. Third, the child must be aware of the value of autonomy, which also includes the ability to stay in his own bed at night. Without asking anyone for protection.

Why it's important to sleep alone

During the delicate stage of preadolescence, which precedes puberty, it's crucial for children to learn to sleep in their own bed, rather than with their parents. This will help them gain independence and identity; to understand and respect their bodies, without neglecting them; and to establish a gradual and healthy separation from their parents.

How to get a baby to sleep alone

Once it's clear that older children need to sleep in their own bed, the problem may arise of how to convince them. Here, you need to use sensible and seductive arguments, and don't let yourself be overwhelmed by anxiety and fear. It's all much simpler than it seems. For example: explain to your child the benefits of sleeping in bed, starting with the available space and the opportunity to read a few pages of a book in peace. The more beautiful and welcoming the bedroom, the more successful this topic will be. If the child is afraid, then it's necessary to reassure him, but it's not essential to do so in the parents' bed: it's much better to guide him along a path where he becomes more aware of his own abilities. Routine, from bathing to pajamas and keeping the light on until a certain hour, helps and puts the child at ease, even when away from mom and dad's pillows.

Co-sleeping: When to Stop (VIDEO)