Too much vanity leads to loneliness

Excessive vanity is like a door that closes and prevents us from seeing beyond, whether people, events, or things. Paradoxically, precisely when we tend to violently assert our unstoppable, never-dormant Ego, we are most insecure, we need constant confirmation and reassurance. And the more we seek the admiration of others, the more we are willing to listen to them: hence the door that closes and the risk of ending up in the darkness of solitude. 

Each of us wants to be admired. Even when we conceal a sort of indifference to the judgment of others, we are actually interested in the approval that gratifies our ego, our personality. Vanity is a bait with which anyone can lure us. Out of vanity, we give in and concede, we puff out our chest and empty our head, we gaze at our own navel and ignore the faces of those closest to us. Not to mention their hearts. Vanity, in its disturbing seduction, is even independent of our state of mind. Albert Camus wrote : "Even from the dock, it is always gratifying to hear people talking about us." As if that "talk about ourselves" were enough to settle accounts with our own existence. Every day, as punctual as the ringing of the bells announcing Mass, the ghost of vanity leaps to my attention and curls into my ear. We're so surrounded by vain people, infected by the virus of persistent narcissism, that we've become accustomed to this attitude, reducing it to a joke. A vain person, when greeting you, says, "Hi, how am I?"

Each of us, including this writer, mind you, could be a victim of the epidemic, and so discussing it with you, if nothing else, helps us all take some healthy preventive measures. After all, vanity, which is not synonymous with pride, can also be considered a lighthearted way of approaching life. From the Latin vanitas , an adjective interpreted not so much as "empty" but rather as "futile." Who would ever dare say a word, a single word, to criticize the innate and sometimes very sensual and sweet female vanity?

The limit, any limit, of vanity is gone, and the attitude of a small and lively human weakness transforms into a form of constant and unbearable self-satisfaction and even self-idolatry, when we transform vanity into our human signature, into our way of being people and of looking down on others, naturally. Into a lifestyle. At that point, the Ego devours the We, annihilates it, and vanity becomes associated with a waste of personality, of completeness. As well as of authentic and non-self-referential feelings.

Thus the vain person becomes a narcissist, one of the most widespread categories on the planet today; thus self-satisfaction takes on the hallmark of indifference, cynicism, and a withering gaze incapable of seeing beyond one's own navel. At that point, vanity, without you even realizing it, isolates you (even if, on the surface, everyone flatters you), and risks sucking you into loneliness.

This very fine line can be clearly traced if you closely observe people who belong to the category of talents, the creative champions. In any field. Well: in these cases, that light vanity I spoke of at the beginning, perhaps seasoned with a healthy, Mozartian lightness , serves to protect creativity. But when it becomes burdensome, when it devours the person, that is, the talented woman or man, then vanity ends up destroying creativity as well. And the genius becomes misunderstood, or simply a genius who, by constantly looking at himself in the mirror, has lost even his talent and is left with only a rather dull image of himself.

Famous quotes about vanity

• <Si può essere orgogliosi senza esvain evenings> Jane Austen

Pride and vanity, as similar as they may seem, are two very different things. Pride is primarily concerned with one's own worth and what one is or has accomplished . It can stem from satisfaction with an achievement, personal dignity, or awareness of one's own abilities. Vanity, on the other hand, is primarily concerned with the image one projects to others and the desire to be admired . It therefore has a stronger element of seeking external approval.

• Carlos Ruiz Zafón 

Vanity, as we've said, is a form of insecurity. And what a person feels the greatest need to boast about may reveal precisely what they're least confident about internally. Someone who insists on their own strength, for example, may be particularly afraid of appearing exactly as they truly are: fragile.

• Gustave Flaubert

The parrot is loud, colorful, visible, and above all, it talks . It jumps from branch to branch without stopping: it's a beautiful metaphor for vanity because the vain person needs to be seen, talked about, attract attention, and receive admiration . And "in full light" is essential: vanity needs an audience.

• Jim Rohn 

We don't communicate to gain admiration or approval—those things can come later—but first and foremost to express what we think, feel, and see. A textbook lesson for social media users.