Physical contact makes you feel better

Among the ugly legacies the pandemic has left on our lifestyles is the eclipse of physical contact. We're almost afraid of it. Or we consider it irrelevant. Yet there's no doctor in the world, no nurse or caregiver who can stand next to a sick or simply very elderly person without touching them. Contact with others is essential, even in the simplest gestures. Are you sad? A caress makes you smile . Are you in pain? Fingers on your body help you resist. Not hungry? Touch is the secret weapon for convincing the elderly to eat.

We need physical contact at all ages. As children, when we begin our journey into the universe of human relationships. As adolescents, when touch also expresses its erotic dimension and borders on pleasure. As adults, when we begin to feel the need to share and exchange caresses and contact, something more than words. As seniors, when touch becomes a sign of mutual understanding, a simple, not-to-be-missed way of saying, "I'm taking care of you; you're not alone."

People seek physical contact through essential , very simple gestures. Even just a glance or the hint of a caress: but it is this signal we must grasp immediately to avoid the risk of loneliness. It's frightening to think that in an age of widespread technology, in an era where 95 percent of teenagers have access to smartphones and all their apps, 15 percent of human beings suffer from loneliness. Young and old. Doubly affected by the pandemic and its fears.

Physical contact has something that makes it completely different from all the other senses: reciprocity. A caress, a kiss, a hug —your touch cannot leave me indifferent, otherwise it means I don't want any contact with you. I'd rather ignore you and erase you from my life. Physical contact, one of the potential vectors of the pandemic, is the same one that triggers the release of oxytocin, the hormone of serenity very close to happiness. Thanks to oxytocin, heart rate decreases, blood pressure improves, and cortisol levels, which signal stress, are lowered. In short: we feel better, and, as if dependent on this hormone, our desire for contact with others increases.

Physical contact is important in any human relationship. It strengthens bonds, creates empathy , and offers protection and security. Touch also has physical benefits. An Anglo-Saxon study has highlighted the consequences for some Romanian children raised in orphanages. The lack of physical contact has reduced their cognitive abilities, compared to their peers, and even impaired brain development. Conversely, a caress helps heal physical pain, not just mental pain. The scientists' response merely confirms something we already know instinctively, but also through simple daily practice: yes, a caress improves life. And by a lot. Starting from the fact that—and here's science—thanks to certain physiological and biochemical processes, yet to be fully explored, a gesture as simple as a caress makes pain more noticeable.

The latest findings on this interesting scientific field, so beloved by us lovers of caresses, come in the form of a study conducted at the University of Haifa, Israel, and published in the journal Nature Scientific Reports . Through constant monitoring of 22 couples in the delivery room, aged between 22 and 40, and related tests, it was discovered, in short, that caresses synchronized the couple's heart rate and breathing during such delicate moments, resulting in an analgesic effect against the woman's physical pain.

So much for science. But in everyday life, do you realize what and how much you're wasting by giving up the pleasure of physical contact? A caress, first and foremost? But also a hug, a kiss, a smile that brings two faces closer together.

I have the feeling, and I say this without catastrophizing, that we have removed the beauty, the value, the energy, the power, from physical contact. Perhaps because too much of our time, and our thoughts, evaporate in the virtual world. Perhaps because we have become less empathetic and expansive in this upside-down, angry world. Perhaps because we consider a caress, like the old, romantic kiss from the movies, outdated, and therefore superfluous.

I can't give you a definitive answer to the many "maybes" I've listed. But I'm certain of one thing, and today I can confirm it with the support of a top-level scientific study: caresses, like kisses, like hugs, like any physical contact, are very beneficial. For our health, our minds, our bodies. For the person in the fullest sense of the word. And what's more, human contact in helping others goes so far as to ease our pain. Truly a wonderful medicine, and without any contraindications. Aside from the precautions taken during Covid. The philosopher Bertrand Russell said : "No rule, however wise, can replace affection and touch." Not even the rules we must abide by to contain this damned pandemic.

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