How to recognize and not lose a true friend

Woman against woman. It's a classic: women preach so much about equality, especially when they're famous and specialized in self-marketing, but then do little, very little, to make the first step toward approaching men. Don't be against each other, build strong relationships, even friendships, and don't waste your feminine talents in warring against each other.

The signs of true friendship

Friendship , like any authentic feeling, has many nuances and nuances. At its highest , it can lead to unbreakable love, to a life spent together, without ever truly losing each other or separating; at its lowest, it can slip into that gray area of ​​playmates, who aren't friends, but who, if anything, lighten your life with their company. Nothing more.

But a true friend is recognized quickly and easily, protecting us from the disappointment of excessive expectations through certain signs and characteristics. Here are the five most important ones.

• It's always there. She doesn't abandon you out of opportunism, or in times of disagreement. If you need her, you never have to worry about being a nuisance or inappropriate: a true friend arrives before you even call.
• Loyalty and stability. These are two things that usually go hand in hand. loyalty It means saying things clearly, without subterfuge, being transparent, even in the most utter disagreement. Stability is a cornerstone of true friendship, which cannot be a weather vane in the hurricane of life.
• We argue but we don't lose.  A true friendship is too important, too precious to be sacrificed on the altar of an argument. Arguments pass, but true friendships endure.

The true friend

In true friendship, especially between women, a feeling of solidarity and empathy is sparked that has nothing to do with some sort of corporate unity. Rather, it's a way of relating to the other, with the greatest possible openness. This is why a true friend has some very specific characteristics.

• It supports you. Even when there's no direct competition, such as working in the same field, it's easy for competition to develop between women. Often, it's destructive, to the exclusive advantage of the man. But generally, a true friend always supports you, cheers you on, and doesn't view you as a potential adversary. If someone attacks you, a vote of confidence is triggered: she's on your side, no ifs, ands, or buts. You're allies.
• No jealousy. Friendship, even when it's very intense, can't be exclusive. And a true friend has no problem if you have other friends too, is not jealous. And if anything, try to share.
• It is not important how much time you spend with each other between two friends, one to the other. What matters is how you use it, maybe even just for a greeting, a hug, a kiss. Or a long silence during which you listen and keep your mouth shut. narcissism.

False friends

On the contrary, American blogger Kari Kampakis has identified the five signs that identify a "half-hearted friend" , who can be trusted up to a certain point. One day she loves you, the next she hates you; she criticizes you whenever she can; she is available whenever she wants; she is competitive, and your successes make her envious; she constantly changes her best friend.

The envious friend

• She's always ready to scold you. She points out every mistake, even when there aren't any, and takes pleasure in telling you that you're wrong.
• On the contrary, suddenly and for no particular reason, he showers you with compliments and affection. Unjustified and suspicious.
• He never recognizes any sense of gratitude, it's like everything is owed to her.
• He tries, even awkwardly, to imitate you. Even though he only highlights your flaws.
• He doesn't make a positive comment about you to others. If anything, he lets a hint of denigration slip under the guise of a harmless joke. His goal is to devalue you in the eyes of others.

Friends: famous quotes

•  Eustache Deschamps

True friends are like sisters. And friendship is a sisterhood. These are perhaps banal concepts, but profoundly true. The only difference is the free will of each woman who, like men, finds her own relatives, and sometimes must even swallow them. But she can choose her friends freely, perhaps without making mistakes.

•  Simone Weil

A great woman epitomizes the long-term perspective that friendships must have, especially between women. A gaze that extends deep, without getting lost in that physical contact that evokes other dimensions and other relationships.

•  Marguerite Yorcenar

As we were saying, fidelity, being able to count on each other no matter what, loyalty, and stability: these are all factors in a sincere and lasting friendship. Love can go even deeper and certainly makes the heart beat in a way that friendship doesn't, but it's much more uncertain.

Read also:

• Why it pays to be polite
• You can never have too much patience
• What does it mean to have empathy?
• Friendships between women last longer than those between men.