Ingratitude: Face it without regrets

Gratitude is good. Very good. It's not just about that psychological well-being which generally comes from positive thoughts. There's much more, according to a series of scientific studies published by leading universities around the world. Gratitude improves heart rate and can even normalize it when it's not as regular as it should be. It increases hormones that help slow our aging, and in this sense, it's even useful for keeping our cognitive abilities sharp and in shape. It strengthens our immune system, and as such, is a valuable form of prevention.

HOW TO DEAL WITH INGRATETUDE

Yet, as often happens with virtues that should be natural, we continually waste gratitude with its benefits, we almost despise it and do not recognize it. And rather we allow ourselves to be seduced by its opposite, the negative feeling ofingratitude.

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HOW TO OVERCOME INGRATETUDE

Central to great Literature, the universal one, as in great Cinema, from Hollywood to Italian neorealism, is certainly one of the human dispositions, with all its shadows, most evoked and most narrated: ingratitude. Extremely timely, with all the wounds it opens, in a time when we are all in a hurry and struggle to remember, even when doing so would be our sacrosanct duty.

I read the book by the philosopher Duccio Demetrio in one breath, with its dry and clear title, Ingratitude (Raffaello Cortina Editore), and I understood how current this word is to decipher the moodiness, the anger, the distrust aggression, which we are accumulating in terms of personal relationships and collective behavior. For example, never before have we felt so distant from institutions, no longer recognizing their function (and yet they have given us so much and guarantee us even more in terms of the future), and we unload all our frustrations on them. What are they? First and foremost, indignation at those who should lead, govern, and operate institutions in the general interest of the community and not according to their own personal and sometimes greedy objectives. It's as if every spark of passion and interest in the common good, every vital drive to exercise the generosity which remains an essential ingredient in public life as well as in the private dimension.

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Ingratitude is an ancient evil, I would say genetic, and none of us can declare ourselves immune to it. All of us, sooner or later, often or rarely, cause pain, suffering, and dismay to those who expected to receive at least a "thank you" and instead he felt trampled by our ingratitudeConfucius said, with great wisdom: "Do not do good, if you do not have the strength to bear ingratitude." Therefore with the feeling of ingratitude, which can run parallel to the rancor and envy, each of us must deal with, as the book of Demetrius urges us. Starting from the fact that ingratitude is a loss of the memory, and this also explains the current situation well: we struggle, suffocated as we are by the present, to cultivate a good memory, to preserve long-standing roots in our relationship with time. And we become much more exposed to the risk of ruthlessness, of the loss of a heart and a feeling, which are combined with ingratitude.

HOW TO REACT TO INGRATETUDE

Can we defend ourselves from this trend? Are there weapons at our disposal to cure ourselves of ingratitude, especially the chronic form? Of course: cultivating memory is already a good antidoteFor example, we should strive to remember, with respect to those we criticize even violently today, how much we have received from that person, or from their actions, before. How much debt we have accumulated towards them. Memory, in this sense, becomes present life, a sort of natural remedy against the ruthless advance of ingratitude, and allows us to keep our feet on the ground, to breathe a moment before screaming out our (ungrateful) anger. Finally, I would like to try to convince readers that ingratitude is a great waste. Of memory, as we have seen, with its sweetness and also with its strength. Of feelings, because by entangling ourselves in ingratitude we are condemned to break human (individual) and social (collective) relationships. Of time, because ingratitude, like resentment, festers within us, wears us down, and causes us to consume—or rather, waste—energy and time. Conversely, distancing ourselves from the slide toward ingratitude improves our quality of life, brings light into the darkness of our soul, and gives us a sense of fulfillment and confident tolerance. These are the things that bring well-being and serenity.

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UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE

INGRATITUDE FAMOUS QUOTES

• "Ingratitude is always a form of weakness. I have never seen excellent men who were ungrateful." Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Even though appearances may show us the opposite, in reality the ungrateful person is a weak person, He is afraid to acknowledge what he has received, also because he does not feel confident in his qualities. He does not possess personality traits or authority. Generally, he has the specific weight of a feather, and none of the
Calvinian lightness.

• "Ingratitude is the daughter of pride." Miguel de Cervantes

Another characteristic of the ungrateful is to be arrogant, proud. Showing the strength of the weak. A way to hide, even from themselves, their guilt.

• "He who denies a benefit received is ungrateful; he who conceals it is ungrateful; he who does not return it is ungrateful; he who forgets it is the most ungrateful of all." Seneca

There are different kinds and degrees of ingratitude. Certainly, in this scale, in first place, in terms of severity and intensity, we must place those who lose their the memory, intentionally, and forgets, through ingratitude, what he has received through generosity.

• "Woe to those who work while waiting for the praise of the world. The world is a bad payer and always pays with
  ingratitude" St John Bosco

A Christian saint is very close, in terms of ingratitude, to a Chinese philosopher. More or less, Saint John Bosco and Confucius say the same thing: the world, let's say those who inhabit it, are not naturally inclined to ingratitude. gratitude. But if anything, the opposite.

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