How often do we check our partner's phone?

Four out of five people do it. And the majority are young people between the ages of 16 and 29. A huge emotional waste with many risks.

di |
How often do we check our partner's phone?
Question: How many times have you spied on your partner's phone, looking for compromising messages or confirmation of some long-held suspicion? Many, many times, at least according to surveys on the subject.
A survey commissioned by Secure Data Recovery Services,  A private American company specializing in data recovery from damaged or malfunctioning storage devices has certified that four out of five people (82 percent of those interviewed to be precise) confessed to having spied on their partner's phone at least once in their life.
Another survey, dating back to May 2026, further narrowed down and identified the population of "sentimental spies." It was conducted Bitkom, theGerman Association of Digital Companies, which surveyed a sample of 1.450 internet users aged 16 and over, found that nearly 30 percent of respondents (26 percent, to be precise) habitually check their partner's phone without their consent.
The most interesting aspect of this second field study is that easy peeking is much more widespread among the younger segment of the population.
In particular:
  • Young adults (approximately 16–29 years old)
    They are the ones who most often declare having checked their partner's phone at least once. In some surveys, it reaches almost half of the groupThis is consistent with more “digital” relationship dynamics, but also with greater insecurity or jealousy typical of some early stages of relationships.
  • Intermediate age (approximately 30–49 years)
    The percentage drops: Phone control is less frequent, often because relationships tend to be more stable and the boundaries of privacy more defined.
  • Over 50
    Here the phenomenon is much less widespread (about a quarter or less in the Bitkom data), and the idea that the phone remains a personal space clearly prevails.

Overall, the trend is fairly linear: The older you get, the less you check your partner's phone.

It would seem, therefore, that as we get older, we become more reasonable towards our partners. Perhaps the time has come to realize that secretly checking your partner's smartphone, even just once, is often a emotional waste and a strategic mistake for several concrete reasons:

  1. It destroys trust
    • Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Once it's broken, even with just a furtive glance, it becomes very difficult to regain.
    • Paradoxically, if the partner were to discover the hidden gaze, the damage would often be greater than the initial suspicion.
  2. It does not resolve real doubts
    • Checking your phone may only provide partial or misleading information.
    • Messages, apps or photos viewed out of context can lead to misinterpretations, generating unnecessary anxiety and conflict.
  3. It creates dependency on “evidence”
    • Once you start, you risk falling into the trap of continuous surveillance, instead of working on trust and communication.
  4. Waste of emotional and mental energy
    • Time and thought spent browsing could be better used for talk, get to know each other better or solve real problemsin the relationship.
  5. Underestimate construction alternatives
    • If there is uncertainty or doubt, there are better tools: open dialogue, mutual transparency agreements, couples therapy.

Read also:

Want to see a selection of our news?

Don't Waste