The be curious it's a quality, to become indiscreet It's a way to waste it. How and when do we cross this boundary line? There is no absolute, mechanical answer to the question: it's up to us, to our sensitivity, to our way of respecting others, to identify the right dosage between what we want to know and what we must remain silent about or gloss over.
There is one aspect of the discretion, a word that we usually associate with confidentiality, little known, yet fundamental. It is contained in the etymological root of the Latin word discretion, which in turn derives from discernere. Therefore, it is the discretion which, even before making us trustworthy people, to whom we can confide or vent privately, helps us distinguish good from evil, right from wrong, error from the right decision. You might ask yourself: why this relationship? The Latins never did things haphazardly with the dictionary, and the power of discretion as a force of discernment has a very precise meaning. It is in silent reflection, in the moment in which we decide to being with ourselves first and foremost, in the time we take to evaluate a decision in its various aspects, that discretion becomes one irreplaceable toolLike cutlery for eating at the table like civilized people.
In the great etiquette of the sixteenth century, and in all those that came after, one word was never missing: discretion. A good level of education, a certain way of being in the world and relating to others, could never ignore this virtue, also embedded in the lifestyles The most basic and everyday. The discretion that has been taught and passed down for centuries was never reticence or a clumsy attempt to disappear from the world, almost preferring not to take on responsibilities. No, it was a very conscious attitude to avoid the risk of putting yourself at the center of the universe, and to harm, perhaps even unknowingly, others, through the breath, the breeze, of useless and perhaps poisonous words. Those which then, in some cases, become stones. And today? How can we define and rediscover the discretion in times when any form of delicacy and reserve is destroyed by the hurricane of presentist information, every minute, every second?
To be more than to appear. Be silent when necessary, and don't always speak. Take a step back and don't rush into the usual search for the first places. Show a natural delicacy, anticipation of the respect, towards others. Discretion is a forgotten virtue in the contemporary age of Selfie, of mass narcissism, of vunbridled and compulsive desire to always feel like a protagonist. Even in nothing. And it is a virtue that shows, in fact, a form of rebellion to an increasingly recurring tendency to jostle for position, to trample on others when one's own visibility is at stake.
As a virtue, discretion expresses qualities that warrant its praise, very broad for the space they occupy. For example: it is a sign of good education, of good manners, of generosity. As the saying goes Castiglione, who understood these things, whoever practices discretion knows well the moment in which it is necessary to speak and the moment in which it is necessary to remain silent. Don't waste time and wordsIt doesn't always mean having your say, showing off, or demonstrating that you have an opinion, however subtle it may be. From this perspective, discretion is listening, the opposite of the background chatter that overwhelms us today. And discretion leads to listening, almost naturally.
The discreet person knows the difference between dissimulation and simulation, two synonyms of lying, and prudence, breathing before speaking, not continually passing judgment from a non-existent pulpit. Plutarch He used to say that it is no coincidence that we have one mouth and two ears: this means that man was made more to listen than to speak, and therefore the attitude of someone who is not always trying to say something is the sign of a man who knows his nature well.
Discretion is discernment. It is the ability to never live barricaded in one's own certainties, but rather to practice the art of doubt with simplicity, of questioning oneself, of never taking anything for granted. doubt Not as uncertainty, but as the ability, through discreet discernment, to cultivate one's knowledge with a mind free from prejudice. And strengthen it.
Anyone who loves conversation, the communicate with others, knows well the clear boundary that separates the transparent exercise of Curiosity (a resource) from the opaque desire to stain, even with a small touch of plague, the lives of others (a flaw). The discreet person knows how to narrate, tell, and confront. But it doesn't overflow into gossipHe uses irreverent irony, light-heartedness, a quick and effective joke, but he doesn't blow on what Eduardo De Filippo He labeled it "the slanderous breeze." A harsh, malicious word that then spreads like wildfire and becomes an attack on someone's reputation, a form of demolition of the other.
Discretion, finally, helps us to know ourselves better, to look inside ourselves, to take the time we need to calmly explore each other's limits and qualities. He writes Proust: «Discretion is the privilege of being able to witness one's own absence" Here, absence, what accompanies discretion: absence of useless words and gestures, and absence of oneself, and as soon as we disappear it is very likely that we will be much more sought after.
Famous quotes about discretion
- "I believe that a simple and discreet lifestyle is the best thing for everyone, for the body and the mind." Albert Einstein
Discretion and sobriety go hand in hand. They don't intersect, but complement the personality of those who know how to navigate the world. Without giving in to the sirens of wasteful narcissism.
- "The best part of valor is discretion." William Shakespeare
Discretion isn't everything, but it's certainly one of the best things for those who possess it.
- "Every man has things in his mind that he would reveal only to himself, and in secret." Fëdor Dostoevskij
Discretion also concerns our intimacy, which our loved ones sometimes confuse with reticence. Discretion with ourselves means respecting what we don't intend to reveal because
It belongs only to us.
«Whoever is truly intelligent hides the fact that he is right.» Elias Canetti
A person who is aware of his intelligence does not flaunt it, does not show it off as if it were a trophy. If anything, he hides it to convince his interlocutors and lead them, through the effectiveness of a
reasoning, on his side.
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