Elegance at the seaside: don't go everywhere in your swimsuit

The seafaring peasants are not a minority, but a genuine people, very diverse in terms of income. Indeed, it is often the wealthiest and most wealthy who rightfully become part of this large and diverse community. Consider, for example, those who sail in luxurious boats equipped with powerful engines. They enter a harbor or, worse, approach a beach, at high speed, raising waves and disturbing those aboard small boats or simply bathing in the sea.

The seafarers have another characteristic that makes them almost an anthropological species: they become ugly, aesthetically unwatchable, their features change due to an unnatural lack of modesty and sobriety, and they suffer, unknowingly, from a sort of delusion of omnipotence. Is it very hot? And they can wander around naked, anywhere. Is there a desire for music at sea? And the seafarers "blast" it from their boats. Does the beach belong to everyone? And they take it over, as if it were exclusive property, and place umbrellas, loungers, and gadgets everywhere. The behavior of the seafarers, a sort of summertime dictionary of horror, is wide-ranging, and ranges from clothing to tone of voice, from waste disposal to children screaming everywhere. They have in their pockets a sort of backwards etiquette, a manual of rudeness and vulgarity.

Index of topics

In costume everywhere

The "bathing suit everywhere" crowd roams everywhere, wearing a simple bikini or two-piece, bare-chested, in a swimsuit, and without a single pair of pants anywhere, as if they were always at the beach. This has led to the need for many municipal administrations (from Veneto to Calabria, from Liguria to Sicily) to resort to fines to defend the decorum and decency of their citizens. The seaside louts offer no respite with their arrogance. Bars, restaurants, public offices, churches: they come and go everywhere. And this behavior certainly doesn't depend on income; there are simple people who know how to be sober, even in summer; and rich people who feel entitled to walk around semi-nude as if they were in their own bathroom. To the point of forcing local governments to intervene, sometimes only virtually. It's certainly not possible to fill cities and towns with police officers who go to check how people dress when they walk the streets.

sea louts — The image shows the case that shook Gallipoli at the beginning of June: a tourist goes shopping in a bikini and 12-inch heels. (Photo credit: Il Messaggero)

The tacky costumes

Lending a helping hand to the vulgar beachgoers are the well-known celebrities from the world of film, TV, and advertising. They are often the first to be vulgar. For example, when they advertise tacky swimsuits for millions, when they put their faces and popularity at the service of vulgarity in summer attire. Beachwear.

Some time ago, Cindy Crawford, then considered one of the 50 most beautiful women in the world, had the unfortunate idea of posing as a spokesmodel for a bikini company, and she chose the worst piece: a micro-skinny model, with the stars and stripes, the colors of the American flag. A beach thong. Unfortunately, many women imitate her, in a parade of fragments of fabric that reveal, rather than cover, the most interesting and sexiest parts of a female body. And down with the color scheme: from leopard print to fluorescent fuchsia. The bikini becomes smaller and smaller, until it takes on the appearance of a new style, the V-kini, which leaves nothing, not even a moment's glance, to the imagination of an admirer.

Let's be clear: everyone is free to dress as they please. We're not in a barracks, so if someone prefers the porn-shop-like allure of a truly micro bikini to the pure and simple, wonderful nakedness of a body, that's their problem.

The pin-up effect is understandable and gratifying. But try looking a little more closely at the sculptural feminine beauty of a woman in her one-piece swimsuit. She'll make your wrists tremble with fascination; you'll look at her not only with interest and curiosity, but also with respect. A simple one-piece, with simple colors, with a simple cut. The elegance you see on the beach.

Men's mini-slip costumes

As for men, you see some of them and you say: poor things. They drag themselves around with round, volcanic bellies, but they think they're being erotic by showing off in a light Speedo swimsuit, a piece of clothing for children, or for adults who have remained, in their minds and style, like underage kids. From mini-briefs, they move with equal ease to enormous boxer briefs, stuffed with multicolored flowers, designed to swell muscles and private parts. Here, the quintessential poster boys for bad taste are footballers and former footballers: they should all be sent to a clothing course, to attend lessons on how to dress for the beach. For men, as for women, what matters, what makes the difference between one swimsuit and another, is its simplicity . A synonym par excellence of natural class.

How to be elegant on the beach

Yet, to be elegant on the beach, you really only need a few things. You don't have to feel like you're at a fashion show. There are things to avoid: panties that are too small, thongs, worn flip-flops, tank tops, and overly colorful T-shirts. And there are simple items to wear. A caftan, a hat, a long-sleeved T-shirt: little things that can make a big difference. And all inspired by simplicity , even in clothing.

The beach as private property

The beach, even when it's paid for and therefore effectively "privatized," remains a space for everyone. Yet the beach lout feels like he's at the front, and tries every way to gain space: he places chairs, sun loungers, and deckchairs everywhere. And he scatters sand mats and dinghies, tents, and coolers nearby like a sand dump.

Waste sown like wheat

Bottles and small bottles, plastic, paper, cigarette butts, broken toys: the passage of the seafaring peasants on the beach is recognizable like that of a herd. Or like the wheat sowers, who instead of growing a few grains, scatter their garbage wherever they can.

At the seaside as in the disco

When sailing, whether on a dinghy or aboard a mega-yacht, the sea lout blasts his music, an act of obscene violence , from the early hours of the morning, if he suffers from insomnia or has retired to the boat late, in the dead of night. And woe betide anyone who asks to turn down the music: at best, you'll have a good chance of receiving a cheap insult, with the right to reply at your own risk.

Smartphones and cell phones used without respite

The rude seafarer has no intention of absorbing a few basic rules of etiquette applied to our electronic devices. He blasts through videos, posts, photos, and stories: he feels at the center of the world. If he speaks to someone, he uses a loud voice rather than a speakerphone. Even if he has to insult his jealous girlfriend, or if he feels the uncontrollable urge to complain about a bad meal at a restaurant.

Children screaming

The roughnecks of the sea are never alone: there's always a tribe that accompanies and protects them. Family, children , friends. And speaking of children, if they're rude, scream, and want to play everywhere, for the roughnecks of the sea, they enjoy a sort of safe conduct: at sea, they can do whatever they want. And if they disturb others, the problem always concerns the victims, never the perpetrators.

The rude people of the sea can be recognized with the naked eye