The slavery of hypocrisy

Hypocrites are slaves. They live as prisoners of their narcissism, coupled with the constant worry of the judgment of others, whom they seek to win over by wearing masks to cover their faces and their lies. Without a strong self-criticism that includes a reassessment of one's existential posture, it's difficult to free oneself from these chains that squander the value of life. It's much easier, however, to unmask a hypocrite, who always presents himself with very clear-cut characteristics.

Court to strike from behind

Hypocrisy , which has its roots in the Greek word meaning " pretense ," has a mechanism, almost a choreography , that plays on appearances. A wonderful passage from the Gospel is that of Jesus denouncing the whitewashed tombs: beautiful to look at on the outside, but full of decay on the inside. The hypocrite has a clean face, without wrinkles or blemishes, and presents himself with affable tones and a persuasive voice. He courts us and then strikes us from behind , with the utmost cynicism. But we have a card to play against hypocrites: unmasking them is much easier than they themselves might think. One of these signs emerges sooner or later. Hypocrites, blinded by their narcissism, are always ready to speak ill of someone, especially those who might overshadow their supposed merits. They use the breeze of slander to denigrate anyone and have no qualms about peppering these criticisms with even crude lies. All this has nothing to do with the usual gossip we can make about others, lightheartedly and without hurting anyone. Hypocrites live locked in their certainties, untouched by the grace of doubt . Every word they utter is a tablet of truth: woe betide anyone who contradicts them; at best, it's a waste of effort. At worst, you'll be inundated with insults. Hypocrites usually proclaim themselves moral teachers . They have no flaws, they commit no crimes or sins. They are role models, the likes of which you wouldn't even find in a Franciscan convent. It's just a shame it's all fake.

He spreads compliments

The hypocrite's behavior is like a rifle burst , firing 360 degrees. In every direction. He feigns virtue and important qualities, but in reality possesses neither. He sows words and precepts inspired by morality, but is the first to fail to apply them. Indeed, his is the classic morality of moralists : it applies to others but not to oneself. The hypocrite manages to display authentic feelings that are not his own: loyalty, friendship, love. He scatters compliments , smiles, sweet words: but as soon as you turn your back, he is ready to hurt you, to tell others all the evil he can about the person he has just flattered. The hypocrite has a disease of the soul that makes him appear the exact opposite of what he really is.

It boils down to etiquette

Hypocrisy and falsehood go hand in hand. A hypocritical person, as we have seen, needs to tell lies, and a deceitful person needs to mask their lies with hypocrisy . Often, to understand the deceitfulness of a man or woman, you must start from their exterior, as in the case of whitewashed tombs and their double identity. The deceitful person, with their perpetual smile plastered on their face, is a master of respectability. They confuse etiquette with the meaning of life, and reduce everything to their own etiquette , whereas true education, like true virtue, is what we carry within us and not just in our outward manifestations. A deceitful person is always ready to reel off a rule like a Monsignor of the House, but then collapses at the first test with which they are supposed to demonstrate their loyalty. In their life, everything is a rule, an etiquette, a way to behave. It's a shame, however, that the substance of values ​​is missing . Another important signal comes from language. The fake person is ready to shower you with compliments (and then insult and betray you): some are shamelessly false, others completely useless.

He talks a lot and achieves little.

Hypocrites, for obvious reasons, are always unreliable . Unreliable people, on the other hand, can be unreliable even in good faith, convinced they are right. But even the unreliable are easy to recognize based on some clear signs. Unreliable people talk a lot , but achieve little . They have no sense of time and space: their lives go on day by day and remain suspended in mid-air. They talk, even about things they don't even know, and don't listen. They always seem to be searching for a goal, but it's never clear what that goal is or how it can be achieved. They don't recognize deadlines and commitments, and always tend to procrastinate.

How to Deal with Hypocrites

It's not easy to choose a course of action with hypocrites, even considering the numbers surrounding us. Nor can we imagine a single rule that applies to everyone. Let's start by distinguishing between people for whom we have no interest or particular obligations and those to whom we are tied by some bond—of affection, of relationships, of work. You can easily dismiss the former, using, alternatively, the lessons of Dante and Totò . Dante is the poet who taught us the rule of " Pay them no attention, but look and pass by ." Perfect for dealing with the disease of falsehood without wasting time and hassle with clarification. Totò, on the other hand, gifted us with the power of the raspberry, a more theatrical and dramatic equivalent of Dante's indifference. When a liar crosses the line, you can let loose your raspberry. Real or virtual, I leave it to your discretion to decide.

Then there are false people to whom we are attached. And here things get complicated, as our goal is still to save the relationship. We need to examine the situation gradually; we must be wary of lectures and making hasty, unequivocal judgments. In some cases, think about the longevity of couples; small adjustments to reality can be useful and are not synonymous with hypocrisy. They contribute to a long life for a couple . With this premise, confront falsehood head-on. Show your face, too. Start by distancing yourself a little, thus sending a clear signal: "Look, I understand the truth, and how things really are..." Rather than the classic carrot-and-stick combination, alternate a few kind words, even ironic and light-hearted, with the firmness of an open-faced rebuke. Kindness requires reciprocity , and in this case , it can make all the difference. And in any case, always give the liar in front of you a way out, and make him understand that you are able to grasp his falsity even before he (or she) has uttered a single untrue word.

Famous quotes about hypocrisy

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