How to recognize a hypocrite

A friend who knows the vices and virtues of Italians well told me: “In this country every now and then you have to tell a lie, be hypocritical,the truth becomes dangerous...”. Given that the truth is not always easy to tell and hear, I don't think hypocrisy is a good solution to the ancient Italian vice of dissimulating, smoothing over reality, and making it opaque. The remedy, in this case, is worse than the disease, and by dint of practicing hypocrisy, one risks making it a natural attitude, with some unlikely justification. I don't pay taxes? There are too many. I have betrayed the sacred bond offriendship? Better to keep quiet. I don't have respect for others? They make me lose my mind. patience.

Court to strike from behind

In 'hypocrisy, which has a root that can be traced back to Greek word whose meaning is “simulation"There's a mechanism, almost a choreography, that plays on appearances. A wonderful passage from the Gospel is that of Jesus denouncing the whitewashed tombs: beautiful to look at on the outside, but full of decay on the inside. The hypocrite has a clean face, without wrinkles or blemishes, and presents himself with affable tones and a persuasive voice. He courts us and then hits us from behind., with the utmost cynicism. But we have a card to play against hypocrites: unmasking them is much easier than they themselves might think. One of these signs emerges sooner or later. Hypocrites, blinded by their narcissism, are always ready to speak ill of someone, especially those who might overshadow their supposed merits. They use the breeze of slander to denigrate anyone and have no qualms about seasoning these criticisms with even serious lies. All this has nothing to do with the usual gossip we can make about others, with lightness and without hurting anyone. Hypocrites live shielded in their certainties, they are not even touched by the grace of the doubtEvery word they utter is a tablet of truth: woe betide anyone who contradicts them; if you succeed, it's a waste of effort. If you fail, you'll be inundated with insults. Hypocrites usually proclaim themselves to be moral teachers.They have no flaws, they commit no crimes or sins. They are role models, the likes of which you won't find even in a Franciscan convent. It's just a shame it's all fake.

He spreads compliments

The behavior of the hypocrite is like a rifle burst which spreads its blows 360 degrees. In all directions. It pretends virtù and important qualities, but in reality he possesses neither one nor the other. He sows words and precepts inspired by morality, but he is the first not to apply them. Indeed, his is the classic morality of the moralists: This applies to others but not to oneself. The hypocrite manages to display authentic feelings that aren't his own: loyalty, friendship, love. He spreads compliments, smiles, sweet words: but as soon as you turn your back he is ready to hurt you, to tell others all the bad things he can about the person he has just flattered in person. The hypocrite has a disease of the soul which makes it appear exactly the opposite of what it is in reality.

It boils down to etiquette

Hypocrisy and falsehood go hand in hand. A hypocritical person, as we have seen, needs to tell lies, and a false person needs to mask his lies with hypocrisyOften, to understand the falseness of a man or woman, you have to start from their exterior, as in the case of whitewashed tombs and their double identity. The false person, with their smile always plastered on their face, is a master of respectability. They confuse etiquette with the meaning of life, and reduce everything to their own. etiquette, where true education, like true virtue, is what we carry within us and not just in our outward manifestations. A false person is always ready to reel off a rule like a Monsignor of the House, but then collapses at the first test with which he is supposed to demonstrate his loyalty. In his life, everything is a rule, an etiquette, a way of behaving. It's a shame, however, that the substance of values ​​is missingAnother important sign comes from language. The fake person is ready to shower you with compliments (only to then insult and betray you): some are shamelessly false, others completely useless.

He talks a lot and achieves little.

Hypocrites, for obvious reasons, they are always unreliableUnreliable people, on the other hand, can be so in good faith, convinced they're right. But even unreliable people are easy to recognize based on certain signs that leave no doubt. Unreliable people they talk a lot, but they achieve littleThey have no sense of time and space: their lives go on day by day and remain suspended in mid-air. They talk, even about things they don't even know, and don't listen. They always seem to be searching for a goal, but it's never clear what it is or how it can be achieved. They don't recognize deadlines and commitments, and always tend to procrastination.

How to Deal with Hypocrites

It is not easy to choose a line of behavior with hypocrites, even considering the numbers surrounding us. Nor can we imagine a single rule that applies to everyone. Let's start by distinguishing between people for whom we have no interest or particular duties and those to whom we are instead tied by some bond. Of affection, of relationships, of work. The former are easily dismissed, using, alternatively, the lessons of Dante Alighieri and TotoDante is the poet who taught us the rule of “Don't worry about them, but look and pass by.“Perfect for tackling the disease of falsehood without wasting time and hassle with clarification. Totò, on the other hand, gave us the power of the raspberry, a more theatrical and scenographic equivalent of Dante's indifference. When a liar crosses the line, you can let loose your raspberry. Real or virtual, I leave it to your discretion to decide.

Then there are false people to whom we are attached. And here things get complicated, as our goal is still to save the relationship. We need to examine the situation gradually; we shouldn't lecture or make hasty, unequivocal judgments. In some cases, we think about the longevity of couples. small roundings of reality They can also have their uses and are not synonymous with hypocrisy. They contribute to giving long live the couple. With this premise, confront falsehood head-on. Show your face. Start by distancing yourself a little, thus sending a clear signal: "Look, I understand the truth, and how things really are..." Rather than the classic carrot-and-stick combination, alternate a few kind words, even ironic and lighthearted, with the firmness of an open-faced rebuke. La kindness imposes reciprocity And in this case, it can make all the difference. And in any case, always give the liar in front of you a way out, and make him understand that you are capable of grasping his falsity before he (or she) has even uttered a single untruthful word.

Hypocrisy and famous quotes

Many writers, especially in the era of the Great Nineteenth-Century Novel, have placed at the centre of their narrative the theme of hypocrisy and falsehoodHere are some phrases that deserve to be remembered for their relevance.

•  Johann Wolfgang Goethe

•  Luigi Pirandello

•  Galileo Galilei

•  William Makepeace Thackeray

•  Oscar Wilde

Don't judge, a rule repeated many times, and rightly so, in the Gospels. And don't stand in the pulpit of moral teachers. 

Read also:

• Care, the right balance between firmness and caution. Without overdoing it.
• Why it pays to be polite
• How to Save a Marriage and Make It Last
• Candor makes you more beautiful
• Empathy, a triple-courageous choice. A genuine look that says, "I feel good with you."